Conspiracy Theory
by SupremeMotherHen
Summary: Selina was ready to reap her hard-fought presidential coitus.


One of the best parts about being leader of the free world is being able to sleep with anyone you want. It's not exactly a written law but all the others have done it and coupled with the fact that Selina had no spouse to cheat on or children to disappoint; she decided to take advantage of this. (There was Catherine but she was used to being disappointed by her mother so she didn't count.) Selina was ready to jump on any pretty little thing able to keep their mouths shut – and open them when necessary. Those types were usually easy to find on Capitol Hill.

Unfortunately, the oval office bunnies failed to get the message that Selina was ready to reap her hard-fought presidential coitus. If anything the title seemed to scare away any of her potential flings. She hadn't even caught any horny senators staring at her boobs like they usually did when they thought she wasn't paying attention. Selina's prospects were as dry and barren as Mike's scalp. Even Gary was having more sex than her. Fucking Gary was getting more tail than her. That fact was both embarrassing and frustrating. Hell, even Jonah had found a few women that hated themselves enough to give his lanky body a try.

 _Maybe I let myself go._ Selina thought. She had just been through the most stressful election Washington had ever seen and maybe there were a few nights of binge eating, at Taco Bell, to subdue her stress. And there was the lifetime supply of Ben & Jerry's that she had been supplied with, in exchange for running a few extra audits at the Breyers headquarters. So maybe – just _maybe –_ Selina had put on a few extra pounds. It couldn't have been that noticeable to anyone other than Gary and that's only because he pays closer attention to her diet than to his own. A fact that is both creepy and reassuring.

Selina was lonely to the point that masturbation had even lost its appeal. It got the job done and scratched that nagging itch, but it was always better to have someone else handle it. She acted on autopilot half the time: make sure you're alone, make sure the batteries work, vibe it out and head to bed. There was sometimes a post-masturbation snack or post-masturbation pep talk to soothe the shame of images that flew to her mind's eye during her moments of relative ecstasy. Selina's snatch wasn't snatching up anything these days and frankly, she was livid at this fact. What good was being an all-powerful political leader if she couldn't even lead anyone to her bed?

* * *

It was a set-up, Selina concluded. It had to be. Questionable diet be damned, it was probably Furlong and his assistant sabotaging her sex life. He was still salty about not getting on her ticket – not that she'd ever let him within an inch of her cabinet. He probably set it all up so that she would get so wound up that she accidentally started a war or something and was promptly impeached. They wanted her so sexually repressed that she resorted to calling up an escort. And said escort would be a super spy that would fuck all of the secrets out of her. Either way, it was all a devious plan to ruin Selina's presidency.

 _That was it. It had to be._

 _This is all Furlong's fault!_

The statement continued on a loop, in Selina's head. It was him and his assistant, who looked like a grown toddler and their elusive spy escorts. They were all depriving her of sex and it was finally taking its toll on her day-to-day life. She had banned Gary from bringing her any phallic looking foods, peaches or anything that was cream filled. Her hope was to reduce everyday temptations, lest she get caught giving a pickle a blowjob. Furlong was ruining her life, via dietary consumption. _Diabolical._

Most importantly, it was their fault that she was distracted by Amy. Specifically, Amy's shirt and the three buttons that lay unclasped. The tops of her breasts were singing their siren song and Selina was all ears. They were milky-white and smooth; resembling two perfect scoops of vanilla ice cream. Not too big, but not too small; the perfect size for Selina to grab a handful but not so much to overwhelm her hands. _This is actual Hell._ Selina thought.

The room was empty save for the two of them. Dan was off probably giving the next governor of New York a blowjob in exchange for a seat in his office, Gary was organizing her appointments for her upcoming spa day, Sue was off to do whatever Sue did during her down time, sundown was in about an hour so Kent was getting ready to leave his coffin and Mike was at home with his dog. Amy was the only one that offered to stay behind to help Selina get caught up on the potential Bills she was supposed to have read two weeks prior. Amy read them, put the main points down on an index card, in bullet point form, Selina memorized the notes and wrote her talking points down on the back of aforementioned index cards, for her upcoming meeting. They had a nice little system until Selina had gotten cold and closed the air vents. Apparently, Amy ran hot and decided to unclasp a few of her buttons when Selina hadn't been looking. It also didn't help that Amy was seated to the left of her, on the floor, giving Selina a great view down her blouse.

"Can you please do something about that?" Selina gestured to the general area of Amy's torso.

"About what, Ma'am?" Amy didn't bother looking up from the files she'd been frowning at for the last few minutes.

 _She's in on this._ Selina thought. Furlong and that big baby had gotten to her most trusted employee – behind Gary. What had they promised her? Was it the West Wing parking she kept forgetting to sign off on? More money?

"Your tits are lying on the table, Amy, please put them away." Tack was lost under lust and embarrassment.

Amy did look up at that. Then she looked back down at her chest. "I'm so sorry," she said, dropping the file and rushing to fix up the rest of her buttons. "It was just so hot in here since you shut the vents and I didn't think I was so exposed."

The words were lost on Selina, she followed Amy's fingers as they clasped the buttons. And then there was that bead of sweat rolling from Amy's neck down her chest and disappearing under her shirt. _The sweat is in on this too._

Gary chose that moment to burst in to the office. "Is everything alright in here, Ma'am?" He asked, glaring at Amy just in case she had done something wrong.

"Everything is fine, Gary." Selina assured, finally looking away from Amy's chest. "And how the fuck did you get in here? Where is secret service?"

"They're right here. I just heard a bit of muffled yelling and thought something was wrong." His glare intensified. "I rushed in before they could stop me."

"I'm not fucking afraid of you, Gary. And yes, everything is fine, we're just working on some important, big kid stuff," She shook a handful of papers in the air for effect. "Go back to your Leviticus." Amy sneered back at him.

"It's the Leviathan." He took, what would have been, a menacing step forward but his being Gary stripped the action of its threat.

"It's the Le-piss-the-fuck-off." Amy yelled back.

"Girls, stop fighting, you're both pretty." Selina interrupted. "Get the fuck out, Gary, we're fine."

"Alright, but yell if you need anything," Gary slowly backed out of the door. "And I mean anything." He threw on last weary glance at Amy and closed the door.

"As big as he is, you'd think he would pose some kind of threat but he's just so," Amy looked to the ceiling, trying to catch the word she was looking for.

"Way too 'Gary' to be imposing." Selina finished for her.

"Exactly! A fucking waste of size."

"I could use a few of those inches," Selina sighed. "I haven't seen a top shelf in years."

"No, Ma'am, you may be small but you're powerful. Like a pocket rocket; tiny but you never disappoint." Amy cringed as soon as the sentence left her mouth. How had that gotten passed her filter?

"I'm just gonna pretend you didn't just compare me to a vibrator."

"I love my vibrator." Amy tried to defend her statement. It was more out of habit, really.

"Back to work."

"I really meant it as a compliment." Amy tried again.

"Please stop talking."

"I'm so sorry, Ma'am."

"Shut up, Amy."

 _She's definitely in on this._

* * *

The excitement dissipated quickly after Gary's exit. There were still plenty of bills for Amy to read and summarize for Selina. Actual work was getting done in the oval office and Selina was almost proud but there were new, more pressing issue; Amy's nipples. After clevage-gate, Selina had decided to reopen the vents, deciding that she'd rather freeze to death than be teased by Amy's tits and suspiciously placed droplets of sweat. Now, Amy was sporting two rock hard nipples that were almost fighting to get out of that thin, white blouse. They were begging Selina to let them free. _Come play with us._ That's what they were saying to her in adorable little nipple voices.

"Ma'am?"

Selina wondered what they'd say if she let them loose.

"Ma'am?"

 _Thank you from setting use free. Why don't you come have a taste?_ Selina unconsciously licked her lips at the thought.

"Ma'am? Are you okay?"

 _That feels really good Selina, do it again._ The index cards began to cut into the hand that was gripping them far tighter than they needed to be.

"Should I call Gary?"

Selina snapped out of her stupor at the mention of that idiot. Her eyes moved from Amy's chest – which had drawn closer – to concerned eyes. "Sorry, I didn't hear you." She answered, in a voice huskier than it had been a few minutes before.

"No, I'm fine," Selina swallowed the rapidly forming lump in her throat. "Just a little thirsty is all."

"I'll tell Gary to get you something to drink." Amy rose, slipping back in to her shoes.

"Don't bother; I have a few bottles in the fridge." Selina made her way over to the mini refrigerator she kept underneath her desk. Since she didn't need the extra leg room and decided not to let it go to waste. She bent over, opening the refrigerator door and grabbing a bottle of water from behind the vodka.

"Want one?" Selina called over her shoulder.

No answer.

"Do you want a bottle of water, Amy?"

Still no answer.

"Confirmation would be nice." Selina snapped, ready to level Amy with a look. Instead, she found a slightly dazed Amy staring somewhere below her face and biting her lip. She was mid shoe removal and was perched on the arms of the couch. Selina glanced down to find her own cleavage on display. She had forgotten how low-cut her top was, that day. Amy stared, oblivious to Selina's question or the fact that she had been caught. She white-knuckled the papers in her hand and the lip bite intensified with each passing second. The shoe in her hand dropped to the floor but went unnoticed.

Selina slapped her hand down on the desk, breaking Amy out of her stupor.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, what did you say?" Amy's cheeks colored at being caught.

"I asked if you wanted a bottle, too." Selina smirked, happy to finally have the upper hand.

"No I'm fine." Amy swallowed the lump in her throat.

Selina decided to play with her new found leverage. "You sure?" She asked, dropping her voice to an octave she had been told, was sexy.

"Perfectly fine," Amy's breathing picked up. "I just want to get finished. These people propose the dumbest shit. Like why does there need to be a bill about allowing horses to walk on the sidewalk? Texas can eat shit."

"Alright, if you say so." Selina chugged half her water and padded over to the door. She opened the door, slightly, to talk to the guards positioned outside of the oval office. "Make sure Gary doesn't run in here again, or I'll fire you both so hard your great-grand kids won't be able to get a job. I'll be busy for a little while." She closed the door and made a show of locking it.

"Ma'am?" Amy questioned, gesturing to the locked door. She had finally managed to get the other shoe off and was tucked back in to her position, on the floor.

Selina sauntered – actually sauntered – back over to the couch she'd been sitting on. She leaned down, into Amy's personal space, making sure to brush her chest over any of Amy's body parts her boobs managed to come in to contact with. Grabbing half the stack of files that remained in front of Amy, Selina dropped back on to the couch and began reading.

"I thought we had a system going, is there something wrong?" Confusion clear on Amy's face.

"It'll be faster if I help read through the files, too." She answered, not bothering to look up.

"Oh, okay." Amy resumed her task. She could inquire about the sudden shift in the room but knew to pick her battles wisely and this one didn't seem worth it. She had already been caught staring down her boss' shirt, so she figured it best not to press her luck.

"Fucking Texas. This senator wants to make it legal to marry your truck so repairs can fall under healthcare." Selina looked on in disgust. "Anything to save a buck I guess." She hated so many of her fellow politicians.

"That's Senator Gregory, he says it's about the repairs but I'm pretty sure he just wants to fuck his truck." Amy answered. "Though I'm pretty sure he already does that and marrying it makes it easier to explain cum in the exhaust pipe, to his mechanic."

"Speaking of fucking," Selina finally looked up, tossing the files back on the coffee table. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No, I did have this thing with my family but cleared my schedule to help you. I should thank you; I hate those people." Amy waited a beat before asking. "What kind of segue was that?" She chuckled, hoping to avoid an argument.

Selina answered without hesitation. "When we finish these, you're getting fucked every which way."

"What did I do wrong, Ma'am?"

"Nothing, I'm horny and I saw you staring at my tits. Work first and then I'm gonna bend you over that desk." Selina picked the files back up, along with an index card and pen.

"Took you long enough." Amy muttered after a moment, loud enough for Selina to hear.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means wearing the tightest shirt I own and crying 'I didn't know I was so exposed' pretty much means, fuck me. At least it does for me. When have I ever worn a shirt like this?" Amy rolled her eyes. "You've been agitated for weeks. I asked Gary if there was something bothering you, because of course that weirdo would know, and he said it wasn't a personal relationship problem. And I work with you for fucksake so I know it isn't a work issue because the country decided not to be a shitstain this week. Then I caught you staring at my ass that time I dropped my pen. I did a little Sherlock and Watson and figured out that you're hornier than a five-headed unicorn."

"You seduced me?" Selina asked, almost offended.

"Yeah, pretty much." Amy answered in an annoyingly unaffected tone.

"I feel used." Selina mused, deciding if she liked it or not.

"We don't have to do anything, I could call a..." Amy began to regret her plan.

"No! I didn't say all of that; I just didn't see this one coming. Maybe Dan, but never you."

"Okay." Amy placed the newest index card by Selina's leg, picking up a new potential bill for review. "Then let's get finished."

"This country really hasn't been a shitstain this week." Selina mused. "We haven't had a mass shooting in like four whole days. We may even go a whole week." Selina and Amy both knocked on the mahogany coffee table, hoping they hadn't jinxed anything. "Go us. Fuck Texas though."

"Speaking of fucking," Amy replied. "Hurry up with your stack. I'm almost done mine and when we're finished, you're getting fucked every which way."

"Aye, aye captain." Selina cringed at her choice of words.

"Jesus Christ, don't make it weird." Amy joined in the cringe.

"Sorry." Selina stammered.

"Just finish your pile, Ma'am."


End file.
